marriage is overrated.

A1 is a sponge & I know that everyone's child is a sponge, but allow me to think that my child is the most sponge-est just for the sake of this blog. It helps with the flow of thoughts...thanks.

"You let them watch that?" she says. She being one of my childless friends. That being Harry Potter baby-sitting the A-team.

Me: What are they supposed to watch?
No-Kid: I don't know...like Little Mermaid or something.
Me: Today they decided to watch Harry Potter.
No-Kid: Oh.

That was not an "Ok, I understand" Oh...but more of an "I'll be a better parent than you one day" Oh. The difference was loud and clear. I wasn't mad at all. In fact, I wanted to laugh. But more than that, I wanted to fast forward life and then laugh. I wanted to record the conversation, fill some sperm in a turkey baster, jab it up her Oh and then play the tape at her baby's 3rd birthday party. You know...nothing too evil or extreme. Just something to prove a point.

So...how does this tie into the hype around marriage and A1 being a sponge?

Everyone is dressed except me, as usual. And I've discovered that the best way to get ready without having to kiss a boo-boo or break up a fight or re-do someone's hair or find a new shirt for someone who has spilled juice all over themselves....is by putting in a dvd.

Wait a second, I'm getting ahead of myself and the story won't make sense in this order.

A1: Mommy, I love Andre.
Me: Does he love you?
A1: I don't know yet because he keeps running away from me.
Me: Do you think his running away from you means he doesn't love you?
A1: He won't know I'm his true love until he kisses me.

I don't flinch. Why? Because flinching means something is bad and bad quickly turns to taboo and taboo morphs into "that must be a good thing Mommy is trying to keep from me". I have nerves of steel dealing with this kids now. Flinch and its over. I'd be a cold beast at poker I bet.

Me: Does that make you sad?
A1: Yes because if he doesn't kiss me i won't find my true love.
Me: Why do you need a true love?
A1: Because I want to get married.
Me: Do you know what happens with marriage?
A1: You love each other and kiss each other.
Me: *I start to rethink kissing Big A in front of the kids now* Okay...but you know what else happens? You can't be selfish anymore. You can't decide to do whatever YOU want because you have to always consider the other person's feelings as well.
A1: Okay *I can tell that part just went over her head..*
Me: For example, what if Andre doesn't like going swimming? But you want to always go swimming and he gets mad because he doesn't like for you to always leave him home. Are you going to stop swimming for him?

She doesn't have an answer so I see this as the Achilles heel of the conversation...

Me: You know what is even better than finding your true love?
A1: What?
Me: Finding your true passion.
A1: *Again, over her head*
Me: Besides Andre, what else do you love?
A1: Mommy and Daddy and A2 and sometimes A3 when he's not hitting me in the face
Me: Okay, but what else do you love? Is there anything you love doing?

She thinks. I'm ready to go in for the kill and start hacking away at all this Disney princess bullshit that attacks the psyche of every little girl. The true loves, the happy ever afters, the singing crab/mouse/birds and the fairy godmothers (never the real mothers!).

A1: I like building houses with my blocks. But A3 always knocks them down.
Me: Do you know that when you grow up you could build houses that A3 can't knock down?
A1: I can?
Me: Yep but you've got to go to college first to learn how to do it,
A1: And then what?
Me: Then you can build your dream house, as big or as small as you'd like it to be.
A1: I'm gonna build a big pink house for me with 55 rooms. What kind of house do you want me to build for you?
Me: Anything you build for me I'll love.

She runs off to her room to get her blocks. And I make a point of not complaining about her spreading the blocks all over the living room. She's not making a mess.....she's building a dream.

Back to the previous story.

I need to get ready & its A1's turn to pick the dvd. She doesn't bring Little Mermaid or Cinderilla or Beauty and the Beast. She brings Harry Potter because she likes how he's going to school to learn about magic.

I explain none of this to No-Kid McClueless, I just make a mental note to buy her future daughter a Disney box set......and wait.

I'm patient.