Are you da may?

A1 & A2 speak dorish. Perhaps you are familiar with this language too. It's a delicate combination of Spanish, English and Dora the Explorer lingo. Heard of it? You know Uno, Dos, Trees, Quarter, Says, Backpack Backpack, so on and so mixed up.

Well, A1 and A2 both are relatively fluent in dorish. I sometimes catch them in the middle of a conversation that involves a ladder, a pantry and cookies and when my presence has been discovered it's like A1 gives the signal to speak in this secret code.

A1: Ahem
A2: *Looks around*
A1: I'm going to the roomo' to *wink* playa *wink*. Come on vamanos, let's go.
A2: wink with both eyes Delicioso.

Off they go looking over their shoulders. I should have known having two children 11 months a part would come back to bite me on the ass.

So this morning, I'm barely awake. A3 is toddling (is that a word?) around the room banging the remote against every solid surface he finds. I don't mind because as I float in and out of consciousness his banging lets me know he's still in the room and has not found something small enough to choke on just yet. The girls bring the parade in at 8AM. A3 just started walking probably 2 months ago, but already he's quick on his feet. As soon as a door creaks in the house he's ready to run. I think he was a slave in his most recent past life because he's always looking for ways to escape. But anyways, the door opens and A3 shoots out the door as expected. The girls come in and jump on the bed giving me their breakfast menu. Can we have some skittles this morning? No. What about Cheese Its? No. Please don't say oatmeal again, Mommy. I grumbled here because oatmeal was indeed in my head. What about we go get something to eat out, Mommy? Good idea! I think I said something to the effect of "okay, go get dressed and brush your teeth" but I was still half asleep so I might have said "clothes and teeth"...either way they understood because they moved.

A1: Mommy Mommy, are you da may?
Me: Hunh?
A1: Are you da may! ARE YOU DA MAY!
Me: Child it is July, what are you talking about?
A1: No Mommy, please please are you da may NOW.

I got out of bed with all the intentions to toss her out of the room but the closer I got to the door the more I realized that someone was having a grand time in a...pool? There were giggles and water splashing. A1 is in front of me and I see A2 standing in the doorway to her room. So who is laughing and splashing? And did I mention that I don't have a pool, let alone one in the hallway.

A3 is splashing in toilet water and having a ball at that. Ugh. A1 says ever so smartly, I told you are you da may, mommy.

Hunh?

A1: Are you da may, that's Spanish for help.

Oh Jesus take the wheel!